Psalm 139:1–15
Who is the Filipino? What
makes the Filipino a Filipino? Even for a Filipino, ironically, these questions
are very difficult to answer. When it proved very difficult for me to identify
my own national identity, I sought the help of history, only to find out that
even in the question of our roots as a people, our historians and scholars are
divided against each other between two theories. The theory that I was taught about
when I was in elementary is that the Filipino people as we are now, are a
product of cross-cultural and cross-national pollenization. According to this
theory, the Filipino genetic make-up is composed of at least several bloodlines,
including the Negritos, Indonesians, Chinese, and Malay. Then after the sixteenth
century, DNAs from more distant lands such as Spain and America were added to
the Filipino genome. So what does history tell me about who I am? I am a DNA
salad, as is every Filipino. The Filipino is really a halo-halo.
So who is the Filipino? I
have no definite answer. The one sitting beside me is as Filipino as I am, even
though we speak different dialects, grew up eating different delicacies, and
are different in our physical attributes. For instance, my family is just about
two hours drive away from my wife’s family, but whenever I visit her family, I
don’t understand a thing when they converse with one another. Also, we may call
a particular dish by the same name, but the preparations are completely different.
When my wife and I got married, and she started cooking for me, she would
sometimes ask what I would like to eat. I would name a dish, only to find out
later that the dish she cooked is absolutely different from what I had in mind.
We are the same Filipino, but still so different.
The difficulty in pinpointing
genuine Filipino identity is just representative of the multifaceted identity
crisis that all peoples of the global village face. It is not just a Filipino
who has identity issues. In fact, one of the most rampant social problems of
our age is related to the crisis of identity.
a)
We have often
heard preachers talking about and warning against schizophrenic Christians who
on Sunday mornings behave, talk saintly, but are different for the rest of the
week. This is an evidence of an identity crisis.
b)
Our current
generation is exposed to and are active participants of RPGs (Role-Playing
Games), whether online or off-line, so that they can be warriors, heroes,
demons, assassins, sorcerers, rogues, mutants, killers, robbers, etc. in the
games they play. In such imaginary worlds, they can become whatever they choose
to become and do whatever they want to do without moral policing, because for
them “it is just a game.”
c)
The hyper-reality
and the cyber community also offer other sets of issues. Because we can log-in
by faking our identity, names, age, nationality, gender, and religious
orientation, we are provided with the opportunity to say what we want to say
without being recognized. We can log in to a chat room and pose even as a
maniac.
d)
Whatever is left
in our already fragmented sense of identity is further shattered by
postmodernism, which promotes a view of humanity empty of distinguishable
kernel. The whole world is but a theater, and our social interactions are just
scenes in a play. There is no real you. You are just an owner of several masks
that you wear at your convenience. When you are at home, you are a son or
daughter, or a father or a mother, and you therefore act accordingly. When you
are at school, you are neither a father nor a daughter, but a teacher or a
student or a worker, and you therefore act accordingly. When you go to the
mall, you are neither a father nor a student, but a consumer, and you therefore
act accordingly. When you are at church, you are not a father, a student, or a consumer,
but a churchperson, and you therefore act accordingly. You are not a Christian
all the time, and that is how you must exist.
Let us suppose that we know
our identity, or we know who we truly are. Unfortunately, for many of us, who
we really are––the real us when all those masks and pretensions are
removed––are so ugly we want to suppress or hide them. The root of this
identity suppression is not altogether self-motivated or self-induced. We live
in a world that encourages, compels, or even forces us to be somebody else. The
societies and groups we belong to have such a gripping potency in moving us to
be what they want us to be. For instance, Philippine TV is full of
advertisements of products that promise whiter complexion. These adverts tell
us that whiter is better. Brown or dark Filipinos all want whiter complexion.
As a result, Philippine streets are filled with men and women who look
absolutely ridiculous and comical for having whiter faces than their necks.
This world that we live in,
where political, social, and economic concerns are top priorities, creates in
us the compulsion to fashion and project a marketable identity. We crave for
acceptance, we beg for attention, we seek praises, we desire recognition, we
hunger for approving nods, we hanker for loud applaud and standing ovations, we
aspire for fame, we want honor, glory, and power. And in order to achieve all
these, we conform to the demands of the world, and project an identity which we
expect will produce good results for our sake. Sooner or later, we become
trapped in the web of our own conspiracy. Our real identity gets buried in the
mesh of our own mess. Soon we deceive ourselves into thinking that our
achievements, titles, positions, job responsibilities, socio-economic status,
ministerial credentials, diplomas, licenses, and the like, constitute who we
really are. Our means to deceive others are now the same means we deceive
ourselves. Our lies have become our truths, and the more we stick to our plan,
the more we find it difficult to break from our own enslavement. Because we
have achieved such and such, and were able to climb the ladder of success by
these means, we would not want to suddenly lose that which we have been
investing in so much. Letting go is always much difficult precisely when we
have worked hard to attain them. Shattering our magic mirrors is difficult when
it shows us what we want to see. We do not want to wake up from wonderful daydreams.
The most frightening moments
of our lives are when we are alone. After a long day’s work, we need to retreat
into our own shells and remove all the masks we have been wearing. We face the
mirror and we see in our own eyes such an abysmal emptiness. We see the real us,
and we hate what we see. Thus, we want the solitude to end quickly so that we
can again forget and hide in the busy-ness of our pseudo identities. Martin Heidegger may be right: in attempting to
escape from our own Sorge by hiding
in the crowded busy-ness of the world, we walk ourselves into inauthentic
existence.
Whatever our reasons are, we often
try too much to fabricate identities that conform to the world’s standards, and
often forget that the personal identity that really matters is not the one
approved by the world, but what the world actually rejects. What really matters
is our identity before God and in God. Psalm 139 is quite a disturbing passage,
because it argues that nothing is hidden from God’s sight. He knows the
identity we hide. He sees the person behind the mask. He hears the thoughts
that our tongues do not utter. He smells the stink that we cover with perfumes.
He recognizes the real emotions behind our fake smiles and our dramatic sobs.
He perceives the leprous skin beneath our labeled garments. He discerns the
motives of our altruistic actions. He knows! We stand before God naked, stripped
off of everything. He knows us!
Let us make the question of
identity more specific. Who is Dick Eugenio? He is not Dr. Dick Eugenio before
God. He is also not Pastor Dick Eugenio. He is also not Professor Dick Eugenio.
He is just a mere human being, and will be treated like the rest of you. Like
Abraham, he is nothing but dust and ashes (Gen 18:27). He is a withering grass
and a fading flower (Isa 40:8). Like Moses, he has many infirmities (Exo 4:10).
What is more, like Isaiah, he is a man of unclean lips, living among a people
of unclean lips (Isa 6:5). In fact, he is more like Paul, the chief of sinners
(1 Tim 1:15; cf also Peter, Luke 5:8). Like Paul, he also possesses thorns in
the flesh (2 Cor 12:7) that would outnumber the number of his fingers. Like
Thomas, he is a doubter (John 20:25). He is a sinner, that when he prays, he
would not even look up to heaven, but would beat his chest (Luke 18:13). When,
at the judgment day, he sees Jesus Christ, he would not say, “Lord, here is
your faithful son. Accept him into your kingdom.” No! When he sees his Lord
face-to-face, he would cry out in anguish, “Have mercy on me, for I am a
sinner.” He would beg to be with Jesus, and hope that his countless sins of
omission and commission are not counted against him. He would hope, with fear
and trembling, that God would be a loving and forgiving father willing to
embrace another prodigal son (cf Luke 15:20–24). Dick Eugenio knows that God
will surely find him wanting if he is placed in God’s weighing scale (Dan
5:27).
Now let us talk about you.
Who are you?
Genesis 32:22–32 narrates
Jacob’s encounter with God in the ford of Jabbok. There he wrestled with him,
and they were so locked up with one another until almost daybreak. Finally, God
said, “Let me go,” to which Jacob replied, “I will, but first you must bless
me” (32:26). Jacob has always been greedy about getting blessings, and the Lord
knows about this. Jacob thought he had God in a pinch, but God was cleverer
than Jacob. God had a simple condition: Jacob must tell him his name: “What is
your name?” For us this question may appear too simple as a condition, until we
realize that the name “Jacob” means “deceiver” (Gen 25:26). The question was
not so simple after all, for God was actually asking a scrutinizing personal
question that means “Who are you?” “What is your nature?” “What is your
identity?” I imagine that it was a difficult question for Jacob, for it would
mean admitting who he truly is to God. But he probably took a deep breath, and
courageously replied: “My name is Jacob. I am a deceiver” (32:27). Upon Jacob’s
admittance of who he is before God, God said the greatest blessing he has ever
received in his entire life: “From now on, you shall no longer be called Jacob.
You shall now be called Israel” (32:28).
It is only when we admit who
we truly are that God can change us, transform us, and give us a new name, a
new identity, a new future. The Lord is asking you today: “Who are you?” “What
is your name?”
Try me, O Savior, know my thoughts, I pray;
See if there be some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from every sin, and set me free.[1]
[This sermon was preached during APNTS's Philippine Culture Day, 23 July 2013, at the Cobb Worship Center.]
