HOLY WEAK: HOLINESS IN WEAKNESSES

“In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:6-10).

Paul’s confession to the Corinthian believers above has so much to say to us, Wesleyans. In particular, Paul offers a necessary corrective to some of the tendencies (based on unbiblical assumptions) found in our understanding and experience of holiness. If we are to treat Paul’s words as his personal testimony or confession, instead of looking at them as purely metaphorical or hypothetical assertions, then Paul provides us a glimpse of another side of the holy life that is too often neglected or overlooked. My personal journey with the Lord these days is still along the highway where I am struggling with humility as a concept and as an experience. Hence, perhaps by subjective predisposition, my eyes instinctively see the passage in light of the relationship between humility and holiness.

The passage stands out to me, because it made me realize my own arrogance. Now it may sound oxymoronic for someone striving to live a holy life to be living in conceited arrogance at the same time. But this is a reality, not just an abstract construct. It is a temptation for preachers, teachers, and Christian workers, because of the demand for holy testimony, to hide or even deny our weaknesses. It is perceived that it is unbecoming for the servant of God to be publicly admitting his or her thorn in the flesh, weaknesses, and struggles. It is unexpected or surprising for the minister to come to the altar to kneel down and pray in front of the laity. Hence, because of these social and ministerial pressures, we are forced to wear a mask which function both to announce our supposed spiritual-ness and to hide our own weaknesses. For us, and especially for us, Jesus has a message: “Woe to you… you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean” (Matt 23:27). Woe to us, indeed, when we intentionally wear beautiful Pharisaic external garments in order to hide (volitionally), or to the point of hiding (consequentially), our rotting leprous skins in need of treatment.

Perhaps it is only me, but maybe one of the hardest temptations for holiness people to overcome is to be truthful about ourselves and admit our own weaknesses. What is wrong with admitting and accepting our own weaknesses? Paul’s response is “None.” If we think that accepting our weaknesses runs contradictory to the understanding that holiness is therapeutic and ontologically transformational, then we are wrong. If we think that pastors should be super-pastors, supra-human, and infallible, we are blind. Let us face it: we are not super-pastors. In fact we become modern day trying-hard-but-epic-fail “super-apostles” if we deny our own weaknesses. Colourful neckties wrapped around labelled long sleeves cannot become the veil to conceal our weaknesses. Academic degrees, political position (whether ecclesiastical or whatsoever), economic status, and the like cannot make us invulnerable to human failings. And for me especially, even as a seminary professor, I must admit that I am in need of a pastor, a shepherd, a rebuker.

Denying our weaknesses is also an evidence of pride, and I do not need to expand how having pride is antithetical to the life of holiness. For is it not arrogance and pride when we wear a mask intentionally to hide our own weaknesses and unintentionally to announce our spiritual-ness? Is it not also an act of deceit if we deny who we really are and erect a pseudo-self or an illusory façade to make others value us more than how we really ought to be valued? Is it really worth it to deceive others for the sake of so-called professionalism?

The Lord promised to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (12:9). This means that God empowers us, showers his grace and blessings to us, protects us, guides us, teaches us, and holds our hands to guide us, precisely because we are weak. No wonder why Paul responds, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (12:9-10). Often times, the desire to be a blessing can eclipse the need to admit that we too need God’s blessings. We are walking on a slippery slope. The desire for recognition can darken the need to remain anonymous. The desire for power can supersede the need remain humble. The desire to be independent can overshadow the need to be dependent.

Paul reminds us to admit and rejoice in our weaknesses, for ultimately, it is not us who minister, but God himself ministering to us and through us. This is a crucial realization. It is not about us! How foolish and ungodly for us to think that God can only use us if we live in deceitfulness and pride! How unholy for us to assume that the success of the Lord's ministry depends on whether we are strong or weak. Let us wake up, Christians, from our dreamy slumber.

[Having knowledge of this is actually less comforting to my already struggling soul, for indeed, borrowing Henry Nouwen’s analogy, a clearer view of the destination only reveals the distance that separates me from it.]